Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Susanna Hoffs/archive1

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Susanna Hoffs[edit]

Susanna Hoffs (edit | talk | history | links | watch | logs)

As of 27 May 2024, 17:08 (UTC), this page is active and open for discussion. An FAC coordinator will be responsible for closing the nomination.
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Nominator(s): BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 16:13, 7 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Susannah Hoffs is probably best known as a member of popular music group the Bangles; she co-wrote their hit "Eternal Flame". Her cinematic career has been less successful than her musical endeavours, which have included several solo albums and collaborations. In 2023 her novel This Bird Has Flown was well-received by critics. All suggestions for improvements to the article are appreciated. Regards, BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 16:13, 7 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]

750h[edit]

  • Comments to come soon. 750h+ 09:57, 17 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]
lead
  • Considering, as per the "Early life" section, her middle name is "Lee", why isn't this mentioned in the lead ("Susanna Hoffs (born January 17, 1959) is an American singer, guitarist," ==> "Susanna Lee Hoffs (born January 17, 1959) is an American singer, guitarist,")
  • Following tensions and resentment of Hoffs's perceived leadership, the band split in 1989, reformed in 1999 and released albums in 2003 and 2011. add a comma after "1999".
  • and formed the faux British 1960s band Ming Tea, with Mike Myers and Matthew Sweet comma unneeded
early career
  • with sisters Vicki and Debbi Peterson, and shared a house should there be a comma?
the bangles
  • recounted that she had been looking at selected members of the crowd, to counter is the a comma needed?
  • He attended some of the group's concerts, and occasionally comma needed?
solo career
  • Prior to leaving Columbia Records, Hoffs Change "prior to" to "before" for conciseness
  • Hoffs's fourth studio album, was release on Baroque Folk Records in 2021. change "release" to "released".
  • The album includes interpretations of the Rolling Stones, Squeeze, Lesley Gore and received should have an "and" before Lesley Gore.
other collaborations
  • The trio made a number of club and TV... change "a number of" to something like numerous/several/many
  • I've changed this to "The trio played live at nightclubs in Los Angeles."; sources focus on club rather than TV appearances, but none that I've seen quantify it. BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 16:39, 17 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]

that's all from me. solid work. 750h+ 10:12, 17 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Much appreciated, 750h+. Let me know if anything else is required. Regards, BennyOnTheLoose (talk) 16:39, 17 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Support 750h+ 00:34, 18 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Pseud 14[edit]

  • Per MOS:ROLEBIO, we should only use her most notable roles, which I think is American singer-songwriter and actress and the other sundry roles can be listed in the infobox (which they already are).
  • and number one "Walk Like an Egyptian" -- and number one single
  • included the US top-ten hit -- we should avoid using terms like "hit"
  • and released albums in 2003 and 2011. -- perhaps the albums can be named here, as it appears that have wiki articles.

Started looking at the lead for now. Will endeavor to complete over the weekend. Pseud 14 (talk) 20:31, 24 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]

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