Wikipedia:Peer review/Émile Lemoine/archive1

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Émile Lemoine[edit]

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I created this article a while ago and would like to get it up to FA status. I'm not entirely sure where the places in need of improvement lie, though, so I've brought this to peer review. Cheers, Nousernamesleftcopper, not wood 22:50, 16 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from The Rambling Man (talk · contribs)[edit]

Hello Nousernamesleft, some comments...

  • Firstly most would say it's a little short to get to FA right now, so perhaps GA would be a better starting point.
  • "His best-known and written-about contribution to the latter field" - "His best known and most written about contribution to geometry..."
  • The lead for an article of this size should probably be no larger than two paragraphs, check with WP:LEAD.
  • "...Nathan Court wrote that he..." - "wrote that Lemoine..."
  • "A magazine he had published much of his work in," - either "A magazine in which he had much of his work published..." or "A magazine which had published much of his work..."
  • Expand on École Polytechnique, what it is, where it is etc.
  • Infobox says one of his fields was music, but the lead says he was simply an amateur musician, does this constitute work in that field?
  • Infobox says "civil engineer" as his Institution, wasn't it just his job?
  • "Lemoine was born in Quimper, France, on November 22, 1840" infobox says "born October 11, 1840"
  • Infobox says he was a Roman Catholic, no citation for this and no mention in the article to support it.
  • Infobox says he won the Francoeur prize, but this isn't mentioned in the main article at all.
  • The prose is a little choppy, a large number of short sentences which don't flow too smoothly.
  • Lyons points to a disambiguation page.

That's about it for me. Hope these points help with your push towards FA! All the best, The Rambling Man (talk) 15:16, 21 March 2008 (UTC)[reply]