Wikipedia:Peer review/Ernie Fletcher/archive1
Ernie Fletcher[edit]
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This peer review discussion has been closed.
This article is presently GA class, and I would like some idea of its chances of becoming FA class. I typically write about historical (mostly dead) politicians whose lives and careers have been the subject of at least some historical analysis. Fletcher is too recent to have had much in the way of this kind of analysis. I've built the article almost entirely from contemporary newspaper articles accessed via Newsbank. I'm not sure how effective a job I have done of assembling that information concisely and coherently. Any suggestions to improve the article are appreciated.
Thanks, Acdixon (talk • contribs • count) 19:32, 22 June 2011 (UTC)
Ruhrfisch comments: I think that this could be a FA without too much more work, here are some suggestions for improvement with an eye to FAC. Thanks for your work on the article.
- My main concerns are some places where the language could be improved, some places where more context is needed for the average reader, and the hope that a bit more can be added on his personal life and life after leaving office.
- There is one dead external link here
- Oh boy. Looks like the NGA updated their website, which probably broke this link for all of the Kentucky Governor articles I've worked on. Should be fun changing all of those!
- Lead
- Second sentence uses verb + ing twice, which a lot of FAC reviewers do not like. I think it also should indicate in some way how long he served as governor. So Beginning in 1999, he was elected to three consecutive terms in the United States House of Representatives, resigning in 2003 after being elected the 60th governor of Kentucky. could be something like In 1999 he was elected to the first of three consecutive terms in the United States House of Representatives; he resigned in 2003 after being elected the 60th governor of Kentucky and served in that office until 2007.
- Done.
- Watch "being" (was) and "following" (after) in just the first paragraph of the lead too - I will not point out other examples, but look for them please.
- I wasn't aware that these were frowned upon. I use "following" a lot. Fixed here.
- I think a few "following"s are OK.
- I wasn't aware that these were frowned upon. I use "following" a lot. Fixed here.
- Following his term as governor, he returned to the practice of medicine. - I am not sure I would call being CEO of a company the "practice of medicine".
- I've changed this to "the medical field".
- I think to achieve makes it sound like he became an astronaut, perhaps use "to pursue" in Fletcher graduated from the University of Kentucky and joined the United States Air Force to achieve his dream of becoming an astronaut.
- Much better. Not sure what I was thinking when I wrote that.
- Article says it happened in the reverse order (got MD and then eyesight was too bad) - which is it? Lead has When poor eyesight derailed those plans, he earned a degree in medicine, hoping to earn a spot as a civilian on a space mission.
- Had to re-check the sources to be sure, but it is consistent now.
- Lead says He soon became one of President George W. Bush's advisors regarding health care legislation, particularly the Patients' Bill of Rights. but the article body only mentions Bush once and does not really say this - only talks about Bush lobbying for a bill...
- Hmm. Thought one of the sources had a stronger statement about this, but I can't find it now. I've reworded to say he was a top advisor to the House Republican caucus on such legislation. I think the article at least supports that.
- Tighten Fletcher issued pardons for anyone on his staff implicated in the investigation, but did not
extend thepardon to himself.- Done.
- I think the lead should probably mention that he is married and a father, and also what he did on leaving the governor's office.
- Got the post-governorship info in there, but not sure how to work in the family bit, as none of his immediate family seems all that notable.
- How about something like After his term as governor, Fletcher, who is married and has two grown children, returned to the medical field as founder and CEO of Alton Heathcare.?
- Got the post-governorship info in there, but not sure how to work in the family bit, as none of his immediate family seems all that notable.
- Early life
- Most governor's wives are profiled at some point in the news - is there really nothing more that can be said about his wife and family?
- I'm sure there is something out there about Glenna Fletcher, but I'm not sure how much of it is relevant to an article about Governor Fletcher. Typically, I've only mentioned the spouse's name unless there was something notable about them. Exceptions would be Martha Wilkinson (wife of Wallace), Judi Patton (wife of Paul), and Phyllis George (ex-wife of John Y. Brown, Jr.).
- Spell out ROTC?
- I assume he was a pilot and flew Phnatoms in the Air Force - if so, should probably say so
- I thought that was implicit in being a commander of an aircraft, but maybe not. That isn't really my area of expertise. If it isn't, how do you think is best to work that in?
- I read the talk page discussion - how about adding one word (flight) to After [flight] training in Oklahoma, he was stationed in Alaska where ...?
- I thought that was implicit in being a commander of an aircraft, but maybe not. That isn't really my area of expertise. If it isn't, how do you think is best to work that in?
- What kind of commission did he have for the six years he served? In 1980, as budget cutbacks were reducing his squadron's flying time, Fletcher turned down a regular commission in the Air Force.[9] Did he have to serve 6 years to pay back his ROTC scholarships? If so, say so
- Give year - Fletcher enrolled in the University of Kentucky College of Medicine ... (assume 1980)
- I would give it if I had it.
- In 1984, he [was] graduated [from] medical school with a Doctor of Medicine degree.
- I've always found the "was graduated from" construct strange. Is the way it is now considered patently incorrect?
- It is actually more old school - a personal quirk - again don't change just for me (though to my ear "graduated from medical school" sounds better than "graduated medical school")
- I've always found the "was graduated from" construct strange. Is the way it is now considered patently incorrect?
- Most MDs have to do a residency of a year or two before going into practice - did he really go into practice the same year he got his MD?
- I didn't find anything specific here. Cross says "He became a medical doctor in 1984 and established a family practice in Lexington." I always assumed residency was part of medical school, but hey, I got my degree in Computer Science! It could be that Cross is saying that he finished his residency and everything in 1984, or he might be saying that he finished his degree in 1984 and sometime later (presumably 1987, as documented by Mead), opened a family practice. It seems ambiguous to me. I could just delete the sentence that says "In 1984, he opened a family medical practice in Lexington.", leaving it open to the reader whether he began practice in 1984 or began residency that year and picking up with his founding of South Lexington Family Physicians in 1987.
- Spell out CEO, also can there be any explanation of what the Foundation did / was for that can be added here? For two years, he concurrently held the title of CEO of the Saint Joseph Medical Foundation.[8]
- Done. Apparently, the foundation is a fundraising arm of the medical center per this.
- Legislative career
- I would explain that Fayette County and Lexington are coextensive in or shortly after Through his ministry, Fletcher became acquainted with a group of religious social conservatives that gained control of the Fayette County Republican Party in 1990.[9]
- I've added some clarification. Do you think the added sentence requires a source?
- No
- I've added some clarification. Do you think the added sentence requires a source?
- What party was Leslie Trapp in? (Assume Democrat)
- The sources didn't say, but a quick Google search says Democrat. Added.
- Say where the 78th district is (was)?
- Seems like it would have to have been somewhere in Lexington, but the sources don't say. Today it is Campbell, Harrison, Pendleton, and Robertson counties, which is Northern Kentucky. Seems unlikely that it was those counties at the time, though, because Fletcher never lived there, as far as I can tell, and because I'm pretty sure the Republican Party has largely controlled Northern Kentucky for years. Not the kind of place where Fletcher would be defeating an incumbent Democrat or where a group of social conservatives would have to take over the party.
- Say Baesler was a Democrat?
- Sure, no problem.
- It might help to make it clearer here that he was now in Congress / Washington Within months of taking office, Fletcher was selected as the leadership liaison for the 17-member freshman class of Republican legislators.[12]
- Spell out HMO?
- Again, I assumed this was a common expression, but I have no problem spelling it out.
- 2003 gubernatorial election
- I would say what party Steve Nunn was a member of on first mention (primary challenger, not general election)
- Done.
- Governor of Kentucky
- First paragraph has three sentences in arow that start with "He"
- Fixed.
- 2004 state budget dispute
- Tighten? Consequently, Fletcher had difficulty getting legislation
passedthrough the General Assembly.- Done.
- Other matters of 2004 and legislative session of 2005
- I think this header should be tighter, not sure how though
- What about "Legislative interim and 2005 legislative session"?
- OK by me
- What about "Legislative interim and 2005 legislative session"?
- Missing word Eventually, four slogans were chosen to be voted [on] online as well as at interstate travel centers.[32] In
- Fixed.
- Merit system investigation
- Is there a detailed case / example that could be cited here - was there a merit system abuses "poster child", as it were? I just did not have a clear idea of what exactly they did / were accused of doing? Looking at the Stumbo article, it discusses his appointments to the boards of universities (too may Republicans, not enough Democrats)
- I don't think the university boards issue was central to this case. In fact, I think that may have even happened after this case, as Stumbo continued to try and crucify Fletcher's career. Doerting would have been the "poster boy", I suppose, since he was the whistleblower, but the general idea was that political ideology was considered when Fletcher hired some government employees who were supposed to be hired on merit only and that he fired or transferred incumbent employees whose affiliations ran counter to his own.
- I would say that Stumbo was a candidate for lt gov in the 2007 Dem. primary after Stumbo denied any plans to run for governor in 2007.[41]
- Done.
- Typo? may for many in On August 29, Fletcher granted pardons to the nine indicted administration officials and issued a blanket pardon for "any and all persons who have committed, or many be accused of committing, any offense" with regard to the investigation.[43]
- Yep. Fixed.
- Needs a ref On September 17, GOP leaders voted to retain Brock as state party leader.
- I didn't add this bit; I'll have to do some searching.
- 2006 legislative session
- Don't need to say 2006 twice in the first sentence.
- Ick. I should have caught that earlier.
- Slightly unclear A right-to-work law and a repeal of the state's prevailing wage law – both advocated by Fletcher – failed early in the session, but both were considered unlikely to pass before the session started.[51] could the end be something like ... failed early in the session; before the session started both had been considered unlikely to pass.[51]
- How about the less drastic edit I've just made?
- Fine
- How about the less drastic edit I've just made?
- Merit system investigation concludes
- Could this just be called "Investigation concludes"?
- Probably. I wanted to err on the side of specificity. Done.
- Tweak Fletcher opined that the allegations in the report were inconsistent with his settlement with Stumbo, which acknowledged that Fletcher's administration acted "without malice."[63]
- Yes, better.
- 2007 gubernatorial election
- I would say something about Northrup's % of the vote (or give the actual numbers)
- Done.
- Can any more be said here Following his defeat, Fletcher became CEO of Alton Heathcare near Cincinnati, Ohio.[75] Where exactly - assume northern Ky? What does Alton Healthcare do exactly - is it a hospital? Is it an insurance company?
- Not sure why I never looked this up before. It's apparently a consulting firm that helps physicians better integrate technology into their practices. Updated.
- I would still include that the company is headquartered in Cinicinnati (says os on their web page)
- Not sure why I never looked this up before. It's apparently a consulting firm that helps physicians better integrate technology into their practices. Updated.
- General
- Please make sure that the existing text includes no copyright violations, plagiarism, or close paraphrasing. For more information on this please see Wikipedia:Wikipedia_Signpost/2009-04-13/Dispatches. (This is a general warning given in all peer reviews, in view of previous problems that have risen over copyvios.)
Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). I do not watch peer reviews, so if you have questions or comments, please contact me on my talk page. Yours, Ruhrfisch ><>°° 05:06, 11 July 2011 (UTC)